


i don't love you... anymore

by evak1isak



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Break Up, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute Isak Valtersen, Domestic Fluff, Drugs, Evak - Freeform, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Jonas Noah Vasquez is a Good Friend, Kissing, M/M, One Shot, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 14:37:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15974375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evak1isak/pseuds/evak1isak
Summary: Isak breaks up with Even after four years together. Will he find new love? And will he find his new lover closer than he thinks?





	i don't love you... anymore

**Author's Note:**

> just one one shot (might be a second part coming, who knows) with josak because since julie posted that pic on instagram we need more josak. hope you like this!

 

Isak didn’t love Even anymore. Something had withered and it didn’t feel the same. When they made love, Isak only thought about finishing and going to sleep, and if he had the chance he just avoided it. Nowadays having sex with Even felt like having sex with any random guy, and the kisses weren’t followed by an electric feeling down his spine. He even avoided them, he didn’t want to feel those lips on his skin. Not anymore. They had been together for four years, and Isak felt like love had died out.

 

There were also those little things Even does which Isak found adorable, but now loathes. For example, how he used to whistle while cooking, or how, when showering, he talked to Isak if the boy was in the bathroom. He also liked to come up behind Isak and tickle him. Isak didn’t like that anymore. And he didn’t know what do to.

 

In that moment, while he was having all of these thoughts, Isak was staring at the ceiling with Even on top of him, who in that moment came and groaned before resting his head on the younger boy’s chest.

 

“I love you”, a naked Even said as he snuggled against his boyfriend.

 

Isak’s heart broke. He couldn’t do it, not to Even. “I love you too,” he whispered back.

 

***

 

Isak was supposed to meet Eva for lunch that Monday. He needed help, and he thought she was the best choice. Eva and Jonas broke up, but it was the girl the one who did the breaking up. The two remained friends, but they just weren’t together anymore. Isak wanted that. He didn’t want to lose Even forever; he’d be a good friend. But what if Even didn’t want to be friends with him?

 

The two friends were sitting in a park after having bought their food. Isak hadn’t brought it up, he felt something pushing against his chest whenever he thought about telling Eva about breaking up with Even. Until, after a few minutes of talking, Eva asked.

 

“So, what did you want to talk about?” The girl asked while chewing her food.

 

Isak sighed. “I want to break up with Even.” There. He said it. It felt so much better, yet terrifying at the same time.

 

Eva almost choked on her food. “You what!? But you two are the perfect couple! What happened?”

 

“I… I just don’t love him anymore,” Isak said. He could feel tears dwelling in his eyes. “But I don’t want to destroy him.” Eva hugged him and placed his head on her shoulder.

 

“Hey,” she said. “It’s normal that you don’t want to break him, but if you’re not happy you need to finish the relationship.”

 

“How… how did you do it with Jonas?” Isak cleaned his nose with the back of his hand.

 

“Well, my relationship with Jonas wasn’t like yours with Even,” Eva explained while she caressed her friend’s hair. “We had our problems right from the beginning, when you and Even were… well, perfect. I just sat with him on the sofa and tried to say it with care. The other person still has feelings and you’re going to destroy them.” The girl sighed. “Your only option is trying to explain yourself, tell him _why_ , and tell him that it’s not his fault.”

 

“And what about his reaction?”

 

“Isak, it’s obvious that he won’t be happy about it at the beginning. But he’ll get used to it, and he’ll understand. Even is quite understanding, and if letting you go is what will make you happy, trust me, he will do so.”

 

***

 

Isak didn’t break up with Even straight after his talk with Eva. He didn’t do it the next day, nor the next week. Well, he didn’t do it for a month.

 

He would come back home to find Even in his pyjamas waiting for him and Even, of course, would kiss him even though those lips didn’t mean anything special anymore for Isak. The younger boy also decided to shower in the morning to avoid having to shower in the evening with Even. If it weren’t for the sex, they could easily pass as roommates.

 

He finally did it.

 

And his life changed.

 

 

They were at the sofa on a Sunday evening, and Isak used the famous sentence ‘We need to talk’. Even, on the other hand, didn’t realize that something was off.

 

“I…,” a tea rolled down Isak’s cheek, and Even frowned. He had to be straightforward. “I don’t love you… anymore.”

 

“Wh-what?” Even stammered.

 

Isak couldn’t look at him, but he did. It wasn’t the best choice: he could see in Even’s eyes how his heart had just shattered into a million pieces.

 

“I… I just don’t feel anything else.” Isak felt like he couldn’t breathe. In that moment Even started crying as well. “I think we… Even, I think we should break up.”

 

“Baby… _why_?” Even said between tears while holding Isak’s hand, as if that were to stop everything.

 

Isak just shook his head. “Our kisses don’t feel the same.”

 

They spent a few more minutes crying in silence. Isak couldn’t bear seeing Even in so much pain.

 

“Do- do you want me to leave?” Isak asked once their sobs were almost over after more than thirty minutes of Isak explaining himself.

 

Even nodded. “Yes… _please_.”

 

Isak stood up and went for his jacket. He’d come another day to fetch his stuff. He was standing by the door when he turned around. “Even?”

 

Even turned around, his eyes still read and some tears on his cheeks. “Yes, Isak?”

 

“I… I just wanted you to know that I’ve loved every second I’ve shared with you, and that I wouldn’t be who I am if it hadn’t been for you. And without you I wouldn’t have gained any confidence, and my life would be as miserable as it was before meeting you. Thank you”

 

Even gave him a sad smile from the sofa. “Thank you.”

 

“And I don’t want to lose you for ever. I’d love to be friends.”

 

Even snorted without looking at Isak. “That will take some time.” He looked at him with teary eyes. “Goodbye, Isak.”

 

“Goodbye.” Isak closed the door behind him, feeling like he had just got a weight off his shoulders, but at the same time like he had destroyed Even.

 

***

 

besties <3

 

i did it

 

JONAS

U did what?

 

EVA

omg, OMG

 

i broke up with even

 

JONAS

WHAT THE FUCK

where are you now, issy?

 

EVA

did it hurt?

 

More than anything in my life

i’m just wandering around, jonas

 

JONAS

isak it’s almost midnight

 

come over, then.

you can crash here

 

Isak didn’t think about it and sooner than expected he was knocking on Jonas’ door. The brunette boy opened the door and gave him a warm hug. They stayed by the doorstep hugging for a minute, the warm embrace relaxing Isak. This is what he needed.

 

“How do you feel?” Jonas asked once they were inside. Isak sat on the sofa.

 

“Like a dagger has gone through my heart and someone keeps twisting it over and over again. I don’t wanna know how Even must be feeling.”

 

“Just sleep. Tomorrow you’ll feel better.”

 

“Thank you, Jonas.”

 

Jonas smiled at him, “That’s what best friends are for. You’ll be sleeping in my bed; I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

 

When Isak found himself in Jonas’ bed, he couldn’t fall asleep. He felt alone, he hadn’t slept alone in _years_ , and the feeling that he was the worst person ever tormented him. Jonas, meanwhile, was sleeping outside, or so Isak thought. His friend entered the bedroom when he heard Isak’s sobs. He was wearing a grey hoodie and his underwear.

 

“Isak?” He whispered, as if the other boy were a hurt animal.

 

“What, what must he be thinking now that he’s alone?” Isak asked between sobs.

 

Jonas sighed and got under the blanket with him. “He’s not. I called Mikael, but Even had already texted him. He’ll stay with him tonight.” The brunette boy got closer to Isak until his body curled around Isak’s, his arms on his best friend’s tummy. “Sleep now, Isak. I’m here for you.”

 

Isak relaxed in the embrace of his best friend, who caressed his blond hair with his nose. Isak felt safe, and he wasn’t alone. His friends were there for him, and Even also had his own to help him through this. After a few more minutes, he finally fell asleep with dry tears on his cheeks, leaving an emotionally exhausting day behind.

 

***

 

Isak and Jonas were having breakfast the next day while watching a random TV show. Jonas was sitting on the sofa, his bowl of cereals on his knee, while Isak sat on the floor with his back against the sofa. They were both staring at the screen until Jonas cleared his throat.

 

“Uh… Mikael called.” He saw how Isak tensed. “Even is fine. Well, for a break up, I mean. He’ll bring your stuff on Mutta’s car. Eva also wanted to come and say hi.”

 

“’Kay,” Isak whispered, barely audible. He didn’t take his eyes off the TV.

 

Isak was thankful that Mikael would come. He wouldn’t bear going to the flat in which he had lived with Even for the last few years. He’d remember the moments they’ve shared together, and he would see Even. He didn’t feel like seeing him. Not because he hated him, of course not. He’d never hate him. But because he’d not be able too look at him in the eyes, his hurt eyes, as if nothing had happened.

 

After an hour or so, Mikael finally arrived. He had a few boxes with him, filled with Isak’s belongings.

 

“Hi, Isak,” the boy wove his hand. Isak smiled at him before replying. He didn’t look like he hated him for what he’d just done to his best friend.

 

“How… how is Even?” Isak asked as he approached the table in the living room.

 

Mikael smiled while he took some of the stuff out (Isak blushed in embarrassment when he saw one of his jockstraps fall on the table). “He’s fine. I mean, he cried his eyes out and this morning we watched ‘Love actually’ while eating ice cream. So yeah, it could be worse.”

 

Isak didn’t reply to that, and Mikael noticed his silence. Jonas had gone to the kitchen to bring Mikael a coffee.

 

Mikael sighed. “Isak, you must understand that these days are going to be difficult for him, and for you, of course, but specially him. It’s better if he cries than if he holds his pain inside. Okay?”

 

Isak nodded.

 

Jonas was being a really good friend to him. During the next few weeks, all of his friends made sure that Isak was never alone. Vilde would go with him to university in the morning, Eva and Sana would have lunch with him, Magnus and Mahdi would invite him over for some joints, and Noora and Chris would study with him in the library. But Jonas was always there. Isak was still staying at his flat, and Jonas had even started cooking Isak’s favourite dishes, even if Jonas didn’t like them.

 

They ended up sharing Jonas’ bed, basically because Isak felt bad that his friend had to sleep in the sofa (Isak had tried to change that, but Jonas refused) and because Jonas would always slip under the blanket and sleep with his best friend when he heard sobs coming from the bedroom.

 

Eva was the one that visited them the most. Since Jonas and her were still friends, it didn’t turn awkward or anything. She told him how at first it’d be like it had been between Jonas and her. They wouldn’t talk to each other that much, even if they’d agreed on being friends. And they’d just talk when they bumped into each other at parties. But then you start talking again, and you meet with other friends and it feels normal, because the storm is already behind. Isak really did hope so, because the idea of completely losing Even for ever made his hole body ache.

 

Two weeks after that, Isak saw Even around campus. He was talking to Sana and Elias. Sana was the link between Even and his friends and Isak and his friends, so of course she said hi to him from the distance. Isak was with Vilde, who looked at him not really knowing what do, although she was tense in case something happened. Isak saw Even waving his hand at him. Isak waved back. He looked sad, but not sad as in “I can’t do anything with my life” kind of sad. He was coping with it. Isak, though, didn’t think it was wise to approach and talk to him.

 

Isak had also started going out to parties. Not like he was expecting to hook up with someone. He didn’t feel up to it; if he didn’t meet someone special, he’d rather spend some time for himself. He liked going out to parties because he got to be with his friends and while dancing with Eva and Noora he could forget about everything that had happened recently.

 

They were at a party from a group of guys from their campus. Isak didn’t know any of them, but one of them studied Politics with Jonas, and that was enough to let them in. He had ended up on a sofa, sitting on Jonas’ legs, basically because the other side of the sofa was occupied by two drunk girls. Isak and Jonas were sharing a glass of alcohol (they didn’t even bother to ask what it was) when one of the drunken girls interrupted them.

 

“Oh my God, are you a couple? I love gays couples!” She said before clapping. Her friend thought it’d be fun to do the same and clapped along.

 

Iska and Jonas stared at each other. The girl was clearly expecting an answer. With his index finger, Jonas pointed at himself and then at Isak. “We… we’re… we are not a couple. We are just friends.”

 

The girl placed her hand on Jonas’ shoulder, who looked at it as if it were dirt. “ _Well_ , you’d make a really cute couple,” she said before standing up and falling on the sofa again. She was too dizzy to stand up.

 

“Should we go outside?” Isak asked. “I’ll get us two beers.”

 

Isak opened the two bottles of beer before sitting on the grass with Jonas, who was staring into the clear night.

 

“Already feel up to hooking up with someone?” Jonas asked after taking a sip of his beer.

 

Isak shook his head. “Not really. I just want time for myself, you know? Just being with friends, spending some time alone, doing more sport, studying harder and not worrying about dates and that stuff.”

 

Jonas nodded slowly and pressed his lips. “Chill. No pressure.”

 

“There’s something that scares me, though.” Isak’s breath was visible in the cold night.

 

“What?”

 

“Not finding true love ever again.” Isak turned and looked at Jonas.

 

“Dude, you _will_. Probably sooner than you expect, and even closer than you might think. Who knows. Your prince charming might be in your class at university, or in a café!”

 

“But it was so… real, what I had with Even, you know? What if nobody can surpass that?”

 

Jonas snorted. “Issy, you’re the perfect guy. You’ll find another perfect guy and you’ll get married and you’ll have kids, trust me.”

 

“If you say so…”

 

“And if not, I’ll make sure to find you a man,” Jonas said with a wink before taking another sip of beer.

 

***

 

Isak was in a lecture when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He ignored it, he didn’t like replying texts when he was in class. It was rude. But it buzzed again. And again. He decided to check out who it was, perhaps it was important.

 

It was Even.

 

He still had his contact as Even plus an emoji heart.

 

EVEN

 

Hi isak

Would you like to hang out?

If you don’t that’s fine

 

 

 

Isak froze. He had never considered meeting Even so soon. Yes, it had been months since they broke up, but it felt so... recent. He locked the phone but, instead of paying attention to what his lecture what saying, he thought about Even’s messages. In a way, meeting with him would help him get over their relationship and break up, wouldn’t it? And perhaps he could start a friendship with Even. He didn’t want to lose him forever; he already knew that before breaking up with him.

 

ISAK

hi even

of course

but just as friends

 

EVEN

 

just as friends

 

 

 

Two days later, Isak found himself with two cups of coffee sitting in a park by the campus. He wasn’t sure if he’d made the right decision. A few minutes later, when he sat on a bench, he saw a figure walking towards him. He knew it was Even. A four-year relationship had its consequences, such as recognizing the other person just by the way they walked.

 

“Hei,” Isak said when Even stood next to him. He handed him one of the cups of coffee.

 

“Takk.” The older boy took a gulp. He smiled at his now ex-boyfriend. He looked… tired. He had bags under his eyes and the light in his blue eyes had faded out.

 

“Are you… are you okay?”

 

Even nodded. “Yes, I am. I had an episode, don’t think that it’s your fault that I look like a drag.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Isak said before taking another sip. Even frowned, so Isak explained himself. “I’m sorry for being so… harsh and just leaving you. It wasn’t nice. And sorry for hurting you, I know I did. I just didn’t know what to do, but I knew I didn’t want to hurt you, even if, of course, I did.” Before he noticed, he was rambling.

 

Even smiled at him. “You still do that.”

 

Isak’s eyebrows furrowed. “Do what?”

 

“Rambling when you get nervous. Isak, it’s fine. Yes, it hurt. Of course it did. If I had broken up with you, you’d have gone through the same. The first few days I just wanted to disappear. It had been so sudden, you know? I didn’t see it coming. But my friends were there for me, and I know yours were there too. I don’t hate you, Isak, I just miss you, even If I’m almost over it.”

 

Isak felt like he’d start crying if Even continued with his speech. “But… but can we be friends? I just don’t love you anymore, but I think that you’re a kind, funny person and I want to be friends with you and help you when you have an episode or any other problem and hang out together and with our friends and just sharing a _friendship_.” Isak gulped. “If that’s fine.”

 

Even hugged him. “Of course, of course we can be friends, Isak.”

 

***

 

 

Isak had started looking for a flat, but with the school year already started it was almost impossible. In the end, Jonas decided that he would stay with him, not paying rental, only expenses.

 

It turned out that sharing a flat with your best friend was a great experience. They could watch as many Narcos episodes as they wanted together, they cooked lunch and dinner together, smoked weed together, studied together, went to the supermarket together and, well, did everything together. Eva joked that they looked like a married couple, while the boys started coming over more often, although just for the food.

 

That afternoon, Isak and Jonas were cooking a weed brownie for a party Noora and her flatmate, Eskild, were hosting.

 

The two friends were cooking in the rather small kitchen. Another reason why Isak liked living with Jonas why the freedom they had. Both of them were in their underwear and wearing aprons, and it felt completely natural.

 

Isak was preparing the dough while Jonas, behind him, was in charge of the weed. Isak moved a bit, and their butts touched. He flustered, but Jonas didn’t seem to notice, or care. They had been sharing the same bed for months now, sometimes even cuddled when Isak felt down due to his breakup. Their butts brushing while they were baking a weed brownie weren’t going to make the whole situation awkward.

 

Jonas turned around and stood next to Isak, “The weed is ready. Do you need the chocolate chips?” He took a handful and ate them.

 

“It’s been years since I’ve baked something,” Isak commented.

 

“I can see that. You have flour literally all over your face.” Jonas cleaned the corner of Isak’s mouth. The gesture was rather intimate.

 

Their heads were getting closer, and without realisation they were kissing. It was a soft kiss, innocent, but both of them could feel themselves exploding inside. Isak felt an electric feeling run down his spine, while Jonas felt warmth in his tummy. They gave each other soft kisses for a while, in silence and in the middle of the small kitchen. Isak was covered in flour and Jonas’ lips tasted like chocolate.

 

Isak broke the kiss, their foreheads against each other. “Wh- what are we doing?”

 

Jonas smiled before giving him a chaste kiss. “I don’t know.” Kiss. “But I liked it.” Kiss. “Did you?”

 

A shy smile appeared on Isak’s face, who nodded. They kissed again, now with tongue, and _fuck_ , Isak missed this. He missed being intimate with someone, kissing a boy; he never thought that the first boy he kissed after breaking up with Even would be _Jonas_. But, somehow, it felt… right.

 

Jonas took Isak from under his thighs and placed them on the kitchen table without breaking the kiss, the brunette boy now standing between Isak’s legs. He took his apron off and then proceeded to take Isak’s. The other boy moaned when their bodies touched it each other. It wasn’t long until Isak broke the kiss. “Uh…”

 

“What’s the matter?” Jonas asked with their noses brushing. Did Isak regret kissing him? Wasn’t he over Even yet? Didn’t he want _anything_ with Jonas? Jonas could give him the space, as much space and time as he needed.

 

“I’ve just sat on the dough.”

 

Jonas laughed.

 

***

 

 

 

Isak and Jonas didn’t really talk about the episode in the kitchen or what it meant, but kept kissing and cuddling in bed and on the sofa that night, and their dinner ended up burnt because they couldn’t keep their hands and lips off each other while cooking.

 

The next morning, Isak woke up to find Jonas sleeping on his bare chest and with his leg over Isak’s. Isak tried to move, but Jonas tightened his grip and snuggled closer to him. They had cuddled before in that bed, but it had always been platonic, with clothes on, and they just got up as soon as they woke up without mentioning the cuddling. Isak desisted and buried his hand on Jonas’ curly mane, massaging the boy’s skull. Jonas finally grunted in pleasure before opening his eyes.

 

“Good morning,” Jonas mumbled against Isak’s chest. He incorporated himself until his lips were over the blonde’s. He kissed him and Isak returned the kiss with a soft, needy moan. “I’ll make you breakfast.”

 

Jonas left Isak, who switched on his phone. He needed to tell Eva. He knew she wouldn’t mind; she’d just be shocked at the beginning. But he need advice. Did Jonas was something more, or was it just hooking up and cuddling?

 

 

ISAK

 

Eva can you help me with something

 

 

EVA

 

ugh isak i just woke up

but go ahead!

 

ISAK

 

don’t get angry

but me and jonas had

a thing

 

EVA

 

??

 

what do u mean

 

ISAK

we hooked up

 

EVA

 

adhjsahakfhjkfghjfgdjshgfdslfdsjfg

fghdjsfhsdkjgsjhfghsjgshjdkgfjsdgfsg

wirueoyruiwdfhkjfhdkfhdklshfklsdfhskdlfh

fhdjhflskhdfsjfhskhfdhflksdfhdfdgegerg

efgefge

 

 

ISAK

 

EVA!!

 

EVA

 

cdhsjkchskchwjshdfdklfhwldk

 

okay sorry

 

i mean i’m not surprised

 

ISAK

 

what do you mean?

 

EVA

 

well we found out jonas was into boys

in a party

you didn’t come

it was a few weeks after your breakup

 

ISAK

 

oh

 

EVA

 

i just didn’t think you two would

you know

HOOK UP

 

ISAK

 

should i see if he wants something more?

 

EVA

 

i mean…

jonas wouldn’t risk your friendship

if it wasn’t for something more

just talk to him

would you like him to be your boyfriend?

 

ISAK

 

hell yeah

 

EVA

 

then just ask him

omg we’ll have sucked the same dick

 

ISAK

 

Eva!

 

EVA

 

dick sisters!!

 

ISAK

 

EVA!!

 

 

The door creaked and Jonas entered holding a tray. Orange juice and cheesy toasties. Isak’s favourite. Damn, dating (or whatever they were doing) someone you already knew had its perks. Jonas gave him a kiss as he sat, leaving the tray between them.

 

“So…?” Isak began with a sip of his juice. “What… what are we?”

 

“I mean, I’d like something more, but… we can be whatever you want. Isak, I don’t want to pressure you into a relationship. If you want some tim-“ Isak interrupted him with a kiss. The boys eskimo-kissed, “I’d love to call you my boyfriend.”

 

“So we are boyfriends now!” Jonas said with a beaming smile.

 

The boy grabbed Isak’s chin and gave him a deep kiss. It made Isak feel dizzy.

 

Isak smiled before kissing him again, “We’re boyfriends now.”

**Author's Note:**

> if it hurt reading how isan and even broke up imagine how much it hurt me to actually finish their relationship. ugh i hope i never have to do that, never again.


End file.
